‘Risky Whiskey’ Indeed
Greetings all, Mark here with a rather spontaneous blog entry. This week I had to undergo a bit of oral surgery. A tooth extraction here, a cadaver jaw bone there, yadda yadda yadda, I now have a mouthful of sutures. The doctor has me on no solid foods for at least a week, so I am now the world’s fattest man child, subsisting on Campbell’s drinkable soups, KFC mashed potatoes and gravy, and milkshakes.
That last one gave me an idea. Very near to where I work, a shop has opened up selling liquor-infused ice creams. My younger, trendier colleagues assure me that this is all the rage. Well a quick check of their online menu shows a whiskey infused chocolate rather aptly named “Risky Whiskey”. Ok, well that could be a fun milkshake, and hey, it fits with this whole podcast/blog/global multimedia empire Dj wants to start up. So off I went on my lunch break.
Now full disclosure, I went into this fully expecting to hate it. To me, whiskey needs a glass, that’s it. So any mucking around has me suspect. Plus the website, obviously unable to use trademarks, says only that the ice cream contains “a World Famous Kentucky straight whiskey”. Now I’ve drank my share of Jack Daniels back in the day (and your share dear readers, and Dj’s share, and…..nevermind) but its certainly not by first choice…..or fifth for that matter. But the point of this whole endeavor is to expand our minds and our palettes, so why not?
So upon arrival I order a Risky Whiskey milkshake, silently chuckling to myself about the irony of me taking a culinary risk with a beverage named “Risky”. However, I have my terrible inside joke interrupted, only to be told that this establishment does not make milkshakes. Now, my dear readers, I don’t want to go on a rant here, but stop and think about that for a second. An ice cream store cannot make a milkshake. A drink that is literally milk and ice cream, nope, can’t pull it off. Seeing my obviously puzzled look, the young lady behind the counter says that they serve floats instead. Well ok, I enjoy an old school ice cream float so yeah why not? Afterall, its for science!
This is when things began to unravel. The young lady then asks me what I wish to float the ice cream upon. So I use what is generally a go-to, and ask what she recommends. Now I’m sure you all know that 9 times out of 10 asking the bartender for a recommendation works out pretty well. Today I hit number 10. I was told that they always recommend customers turn their floats into a “bubbly float”. What, praytell is that I ask? Well, channeling her best Chris Jericho impression, she tells me a bubbly float uses their own house made blueberry champagne. Now I have to speak up. Chocolate, Jack Daniels, and……blueberry champagne? No. I’m sorry, but no. I’m here to try something new, not get violently ill.
So that leaves me with a choice of canned sodas, which if I’m honest was kind of lacking. After much deliberation/contemplation about backing out of the whole deal, I choose Dr. Pepper. Michael Douglas drinks JD and Dr. Pepper in the Kominsky Method, so how bad can it be? The float is made, and another player enters the fray as whipped cream is added on top. Sigh. Upon getting it back to the office, I take a bite. And here’s the thing, it actually wasn’t that bad. In fact it was pretty decent, at least at first. The ice cream tasted just like someone put Jack into a bottle of Yoo-Hoo, which actually tastes a lot better than it sounds. The ice cream itself was pretty creamy and had good flavor.
However, it wasn’t all good. The ice cream is obviously hand mixed, and the alcohol added at some point in the process. This led to prolonged periods of eating just ice cream with no hint of liquor, followed by a bite of 100% straight Jack. The Dr. Pepper may as well have not even existed, as it was completely drowned out by the other flavors, popping up only occasionally as an aftertaste. If, I don’t know, they made this as a milkshake and mixed everything up better, it would be 100% tastier. But hey, we can mix whiskey with chocolate, but a blender? That’s a bridge too far. Also, no whipped cream, it just gets in the way, and adds a straight dairy flavor I don’t want with booze.
So I’ve gone on way too long, so finally here’s my review:
Creativity: 8.5/10 (Its different, that’s for sure)
Appearance: 7/10
Flavors, Individual: 7.5/10
Flavors, Mixed: 3.5/10
Price Point: 6/10 ($9.25 about what I expected)
Overall: 5/10
Its a neat idea on paper, and I actually really enjoyed the ice cream, when it was mixed well. But the uneven distribution and just way too many flavors mean they just can’t quite pull it off. I’m also deducting points for not having a f***ing blender. Yes, I know, I’m petty. Its certainly nowhere near the worst drink I’ve ever had, but I can’t honestly recommend it.
